Figuring out lifes questions...

Its hard to really say what puzzles people more than the craziness of love. I myself am trying to figure out who I am and i find myself wondering if there really is someone out there who can love me for who i really am. Its an odd feeling. I find myself heart broken in one moment, but feeling whole and alive the next. Am i alone in this crazy mixed up messed up swirl of emotions? Or are the blurry shapes passing by me in the haze others, with the same problem as mine? Or are they simply the people that i once loved? Or people who i was supposed to love? I cant figure out these simple questions. Am I to love but never be loved back? Am i doomed to be alone, spending my days wondering in the forests amongst the animals? Life has many mysteries, I just wish i can solve mine, before i end up losing everything i hold dear to me. Life holds many surprises, some good, some bad, i just wish that it were easier to find out why most of them have more than one meaning.

This wonderfully cold weather...

Am i the only one in this town who loves it to be 50 or below? I love this weather, the chilly air that prickles your skin, the leaves that cover the ground under the old trees down town, the crisp air that fills my lungs, I love every inch of fall. I find it odd when I think about how I grew up in Florida. I am not a fan of sweaty summer days, and sticky summer nights. The kind of nights where the fan is blazing, your in nothing but your underwear, yet you still cant sleep because of the heat. Ya, hot weather, not my favorite kind of weather. Winter is also awesome. Everything covered in a layer of wight, my breath forming clouds as it leaves my mouth, the crunch of snow under my feet. I am a cold weather girl, to me there is nothing better than snuggling up next to a fire to read or write. Nothing better than waking up and finding out there is no school, because there was so much snow that fell during the night. The weather never seises to amaze me, the winter makes me fall in love with it over and over again. As the year draws to a close, my spirits are lifted, my heart is warmed, and my mind cleared, as I step out into the wonderful world of wight.

Second chances

Two words that can define who you are. How many you have given, how many have been given to you by people who you have wronged or hurt. It's hard to say if people always deserve another chance. Most of the time they really don't. A cheating spouse, a back stabbing lie, treachery, abuse. Mistakes come in major and minor forms. A forgotten birthday, saying the wrong name, forgetting to do something. Mistakes happen, but it all depends on the severity of the mistake, and if that person deserves a second chance.

I have been given more second chances than I will ever deserve. I have lied, gotten mad over stupid things; I've said things in anger that shouldn't have been brought up. Everyone does it at one time or another. Too bad I've done it in a period of less than a year. No one is truly a bad person. The choices they make along their road of life help shape who they are, but they don't define who that person truly is. It's hard to get threw obstacles, but everyone has too. It's the people who don't get threw them that have the real problem. They become held back and then they can't move forward.

Sometimes it's too hard to move forward when all you want to do is stay put or go back. It's hard to get over things that affect us in an enormous way. The death of a loved one, a failed relationship that can never be fixed. People always try to fix things that have happened in the past, but that is always a problem because they are in the past. You can't live for something in the past. You have to live in the present, and for the future. You can't simply live like you always have. You have to move forward, and grow. Change is nature, emotions hold it back.

Just because....

I always think that it is really neat when someone does something nice for another person, with the simple motive of "just because". Iv seen it a few times. Its happened to me even less, but i love to see it happen to other people, especially when it was my doing. 

Its simple little things, that most people take for granite. Little gifts here and there, a souvenir from a vacation, a hug, or ice cream, brought over on their lunch break. My friend Courtney's boyfriend is one of the most selfless and sweetest guys i have ever met. 

He comes over just to say hi, bakes her cookies and drops them off, and he brought her a blizzard on his lunch break, when she was at my house. 

Here is the question that has been bugging me for days, how can people only care about them selfs, all of the time? I mean everyone has to think about them selfs ever once in a while, but do they really have to every second of everyday?

Not many people read my blog, i wish that more did only for the simple reason of reading this. show this blog to everyone who will sit down for five minutes and read it. 

The point of this blog was to see if my words, could change and effect people,even if only a little. So try being less selfish and more selfless, do more random acts of kindness, and start doing things with the simple motive, of "just because".

I am sad to say but.......

Its true I am a world of warcraft nerd. I love wow and i play it when ever i can. I have a few characters but i have one that i really like. I have a blood elf, her name is Salaninia. I am sad to say that i am only a 34 at the moment but i cant wait to lvl up to 40 because i get to get a fel stead, which is only 4 warlocks. Its cool, my parents play wow, and they are the ones who got me totally hooked on it. I played every day during my x-mas break and i lvled really well. I started a guild on my character and things are turning out really well. I am having a lot of fun but my guild isn't growing as fast as i hoped. Oh well, it is a girl based guild called Wicked Faeries so guys don't seem to like it all that much. I love wow, i love talking about it, playing it, and i have many wow t-shirts. I got some stuff for x-mas, a new t-shirt and a hoodie. It was cool, i have friends who play wow too. I have wow books and i drew a wow picture last year as my final in art. i hope that people who read my blog will see that its not a bad thing to play wow. Enjoy my fellow nerds, play until ur as rich as you could want and as strong as you can get. Explore out land, and be as addicted as you like.

My first day as a blogger......

On a strange and crazy whim, i decided to start a blog. My life as a writer has taken me down some fun and crazy roads. I write almost anything. I (try to) write songs, but mostly i write poetry. I have a book that i started less than a year ago but have hit a road block. I cant seem to sit down for a long period of time and just get into my story. But n-e-way, my poetry is liked by only a few people and maybe one day i will get brave enough to post one on here. Well this is just a peak into the mind of a writer, but wait, wasn't this blog supposed to be the feelings of a writer? Well that maybe true, but for now, all you are going to get is a little peek into the mind of a young and struggling writer. until next time, i bid you adieu.