Figuring out lifes questions...

Its hard to really say what puzzles people more than the craziness of love. I myself am trying to figure out who I am and i find myself wondering if there really is someone out there who can love me for who i really am. Its an odd feeling. I find myself heart broken in one moment, but feeling whole and alive the next. Am i alone in this crazy mixed up messed up swirl of emotions? Or are the blurry shapes passing by me in the haze others, with the same problem as mine? Or are they simply the people that i once loved? Or people who i was supposed to love? I cant figure out these simple questions. Am I to love but never be loved back? Am i doomed to be alone, spending my days wondering in the forests amongst the animals? Life has many mysteries, I just wish i can solve mine, before i end up losing everything i hold dear to me. Life holds many surprises, some good, some bad, i just wish that it were easier to find out why most of them have more than one meaning.

This wonderfully cold weather...

Am i the only one in this town who loves it to be 50 or below? I love this weather, the chilly air that prickles your skin, the leaves that cover the ground under the old trees down town, the crisp air that fills my lungs, I love every inch of fall. I find it odd when I think about how I grew up in Florida. I am not a fan of sweaty summer days, and sticky summer nights. The kind of nights where the fan is blazing, your in nothing but your underwear, yet you still cant sleep because of the heat. Ya, hot weather, not my favorite kind of weather. Winter is also awesome. Everything covered in a layer of wight, my breath forming clouds as it leaves my mouth, the crunch of snow under my feet. I am a cold weather girl, to me there is nothing better than snuggling up next to a fire to read or write. Nothing better than waking up and finding out there is no school, because there was so much snow that fell during the night. The weather never seises to amaze me, the winter makes me fall in love with it over and over again. As the year draws to a close, my spirits are lifted, my heart is warmed, and my mind cleared, as I step out into the wonderful world of wight.

Second chances

Two words that can define who you are. How many you have given, how many have been given to you by people who you have wronged or hurt. It's hard to say if people always deserve another chance. Most of the time they really don't. A cheating spouse, a back stabbing lie, treachery, abuse. Mistakes come in major and minor forms. A forgotten birthday, saying the wrong name, forgetting to do something. Mistakes happen, but it all depends on the severity of the mistake, and if that person deserves a second chance.

I have been given more second chances than I will ever deserve. I have lied, gotten mad over stupid things; I've said things in anger that shouldn't have been brought up. Everyone does it at one time or another. Too bad I've done it in a period of less than a year. No one is truly a bad person. The choices they make along their road of life help shape who they are, but they don't define who that person truly is. It's hard to get threw obstacles, but everyone has too. It's the people who don't get threw them that have the real problem. They become held back and then they can't move forward.

Sometimes it's too hard to move forward when all you want to do is stay put or go back. It's hard to get over things that affect us in an enormous way. The death of a loved one, a failed relationship that can never be fixed. People always try to fix things that have happened in the past, but that is always a problem because they are in the past. You can't live for something in the past. You have to live in the present, and for the future. You can't simply live like you always have. You have to move forward, and grow. Change is nature, emotions hold it back.